STALKER FLOWER GIRL!!!

Oh god. This is such a horrible situation.

Mmkay, remember that flower seller I mentioned in my last post? She’s back. Back with a flowery vengence. BUT, before I get ahead of myself let me catch you all up.

Barret (I’m still not sure if that’s his name, but it’s gotten to the point where asking if it is his name would lead to an awkward silence…) tried to get us all up well early in the morning. I ignored the babboon, and went back to sleep. He tried to hit me, but thanks to my suave sophistication and charm last night, Tifa/Tita defended me saying I needed some sleep.

When I finally woke up they were both waiting on me upstairs. I climbed up (on the PINBALL MACHINE LIFT! Seriously, glad to know that they are getting something right.) Barret (still unsure) asked me to teach him how to equip Materia and such. I was extrememly tempted to tell him that to use Materia you have to shove it into a bodily orifice that cannot be seen during the day, but Tifa’s presence stalled me. I haven't gotten into her pants yet, I need to pretend to be nice.

ish.

Blah Blah Boring Train ride to surface Blah Blah Jumped out Blah Blah Heard someone else call him Barret I’m safe Blah Blah Crawling through vents and planted the bomb Blah Blah.

We were leaving the Reactor when all of a sudden the freaking President of the Shin-Ra Electrical Company shows up. Now, here is where I can see that Barret is really and truly all talk. President Shin-Ra was standing not to far away, and chatting away to us. AVALANCHE want to stop Shin-Ra… so why the HELL didn’t Barret open fire?! I mean the dude has a GUN FOR A HAND. And we’re talking about a good few minutes! It wasn’t a brief “HAI! HELLO! BYE!” Do not get me wrong though good readers, I don’t give a damn about AVALANCHE’s goals, but surely, if they want to achieve them, they’ll want to have a leader with a brain, not just a deadly weapon for a limb.

Shin-Ra then set a robot on us. We fought, and it was fun. Except for the part were the sub-par robot decided to blow up when we destroyed it. It blew a hole in the bridge, and I fell to my doom, never to be seen again…

Well actually… I was seen again. YET again, proof of my sheer brilliance shone through, when I survived a fall at LEAST a couple of hundred feet. I woke up, and my nostils freaked out at the smell of something that wasn't horrible. (later turned out to be the scent of loads of flowers) According to the Freaky Flower Girl (Whose name is Aeris) I fell through the roof, and it combined with her Flower (patch) broke my fall, but not my back!

I'm thinking of getting business cards that say "Cloud Strife, too awesome to obey the Laws of Physics."

I ended up kipping in her spare room in her mom's house. (Her mom is awesome, she ASKED me to bail!) and so I did. However, you may have noticed, I have taken to calling her "Freaky" Flower Girl. For one simple reason. I left her house, then I ran through the square of sector 5, and just when I got to the entrance to Sector 6?

BAMF!

CRAZY STALKER FLOWER GIRL IS THERE!

Anywho, I tried my darndest to escape her, but she's as bad as an STI. Easy to catch, a bitch to get rid of. Not that I have OR had STI's... I just heard... from others.

We sat around in the playground in Sector 6 for a bit.. (Which, SERIOUSLY looks like something right out of a nightmare... but then again, I grew up in f&£ing Nibelheim...) When suddenly, the Sector 7 gates open, and THERE IS TITA! She dissappeared in a Chocobo Cart, but Aeris and I ran after her... After much investigation, we found out that Don Corneo is looking for a "wife" for tomorrow night... So we'll hopefully find/save Tifa then.

So I'm using the computer now in the Inn in Sector 6. Just thought I'd post, and now I'm going to look up some pr0n.